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JUST BRENDA: Should I move in with him?


Dear Brenda,

My boyfriend wants us to move in together to save rent money and “I will marry you anyway”. Those were his words, but I feel like I will be selling myself short because I’m looking to leave my parents’ house properly, with people singing, crying, goats slaughtered, outfits custom-made, the whole shebang. He told me that I was being petty and inconsiderate because times are hard. But he has always known that I want these things for the two years we have been dating. So do you think I am being unreasonable?

Dear Madam Undecided,

From what you are saying, you imply that the only thing wrong with the relationship is that he has demanded cohabitation. You ask whether or not you are being unreasonable by refusing to do so. Look, you are two people in love and no third party advice can make a difference to what you decide.

My take is that there’s nothing illegal or immoral about his suggestion, but it’s up to you to communicate (again and again until it sticks) why it’s important for you to leave your house in a ceremonial manner.

Meanwhile, since coronavirus is here to stay, you might want to start thinking of more downscaled, practical ways you can do this to keep both of your families happy and safe.