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JUST BRENDA: My wife secretly withdraws cash from my bank account to tithe

Hi Brenda,

I’m a 29-year-old economist. My problem is that my wife withdraws money from my bank account through the ATM behind my back (I shared with her my PIN). When I ask her what she does with the money, she says she contributes it to the church as tithe since I don’t usually do it.

I know it is right for Christians to pay tithe but I feel it’s wrong for her to go behind my back and when I confront her about this, she quotes for me Malachi chapter three verse 10 to 12.

For me, transparency and openness in a marriage is key but she always tells me that the right hand should not know what the left one is holding while tithing. I’m now confused. Should I just change my ATM password and risk having friction in the marriage? Is she stealing or tithing?  Is she stealing or tithing?

If your wife is interested in doing the Lord’s work, it should not be a secret. She is deliberately using Bible verses that suit her purposes. No one has said paying tithe is wrong, but what is with the cloak and dagger mysteries? After all, there is a verse that also says what is done in the darkness will eventually be revealed – Luke 8:17, to be precise. ‘For nothing is hidden that will not be revealed, and nothing concealed that will not be made known and brought to light.’ If tithe is her true aim, then she should at least tell you. Quick question though, if you don’t want to pay tithe, isn’t that your choice? Otherwise what is the point of Jesus and free will? Your right hand should not know what your left hand is doing, but both her hands know what she is doing. That doesn’t seem like a transparent and open marriage to me.