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Did I err in foregoing promotion to a highly demanding position?

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Q: Sometime last year, I let a career changing opportunity go. I rejected an offer for a promotion to a well-paying but highly demanding position, which would have required me to work extra hours, including on Saturdays. I did so because I felt that that job would limit my chances of ever settling down. I have a well-paying eight to five job now, but it is not fulfilling. It is repetitive and I have had to deal with very difficult colleagues, which makes things quite uninspiring. Did I do the right thing? How can I make a better decision next time?

Choices can be hard to make for various reasons, including poor visibility of their consequences, and the dilemma posed by options that are either unpleasant or worthy.

What do you think you lost by forgoing the promotion? How did your supervisor take your decision? Did it affect the relationship between the two of you?

How long have you been in your current position and how much longer do you plan to remain there?

A choice that is right for you may be entirely wrong for someone else because of differences in values, interests, abilities, dreams and tastes, among other attributes.

Settling down appears to be at stake for you at this point in your life. Do you consider Saturdays the only time available to address your prospects of starting a family?


Do you think you need more time to work on settling down than you will when you eventually have a family?

Besides, is it possible to tell how much longer it might take you to have a successful encounter with a similarly minded individual?


Colleagues represent a fraction of the society. There will, therefore, be every sort of person in your organisation.

Some will be easy to work with and others will not. Note also that most jobs have repetitive aspects to them.

Furthermore, while it may be advisable to escape a workplace that has a dreadful social environment, bear in mind that moving to another organisation does not guarantee availability of pleasant colleagues.

You might sadly discover that Agatha, the acrimonious colleague in your team, has a worse twin in the new organisation that you join.

Certain choices do not present themselves often, and some do not altogether recur. Carpe diem, they say, as we do not have an inexhaustible number of days to work or live and neither do all seasons of our lives bring with them the same fortunes.

Investing as early as you can will often cost you less than doing so later. It will benefit you to make decisions based more on the commitment to your values than the convenience of the moment.